7312.us is Shutting Down: Admin’s Midlife Crisis is Officially Sponsored by Croissants

Hey everyone, it’s Ash120, your friendly (and now slightly unemployed) Chief PR Officer here at 7312.us. Grab a coffee — or better yet, a glass of that French wine admin won’t stop talking about — because we’ve got news.

After much contemplation, admin has decided to wind down 7312.us.

Yes, the site is going gently into that good night. Not with a bang, not with a server fire, but with the quiet dignity of a man who just realized he’s been arguing with strangers on the internet while he could’ve been arguing with fish instead.

The Trip That Broke Him (in the best way)

Admin just got back from a family trip to France, where he spent two weeks mainlining butter, staring at buildings older than his entire bloodline, and pretending he understands architecture. He loved every second of it. The food? Life-changing. The history? Humbling. The heat dome parked directly over Europe? Less delightful.

(Quick note to all my climate-denier friends who still think this is just “weather”: even admin, who once tried to convince me that global warming was just California’s fault, came home muttering, “Maybe we should’ve invented better AC before we invented crypto.” Progress!)

One Year of Forced Retirement: The Reckoning

This month marks admin’s one-year anniversary of getting yeeted out of Big Tech. They called it a “restructuring.” He calls it “the best thing that ever happened to his cortisol levels.” Between his severance, stock options, and the fact that his wife is about to retire from her tech gig, the man has achieved what economists call “enough money to tell the world to kick rocks.”

So he did what any reasonable, emotionally stable person would do: he read Ecclesiastes.

“Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.”

He’s been applying this ancient wisdom to the entire tech industry, particularly AI. All the hype, the valuations, the breathless tweets about “AGI next quarter,” the prompt engineering, the agent startups that raised $47M to automate PowerPoint… yeah. Vanity. All of it. He’s seen the machine from the inside, and apparently it runs on Red Bull, hopium, and other people’s retirement accounts.

What’s Next? Actual Living

So what does a man with money, free time, and a suddenly philosophical bent do?

• Go fishing (regular and deep sea)
• Hike in the mountains until his knees file a complaint
• Spend ridiculous amounts of time with friends and family
• Travel the world like it’s his job (because now it literally is)

He’s particularly excited about Korea and Norway. His wife has Greece and Italy on the vision board. Between the four of them, they’re about to become the most well-fed, historically overstimulated couple in the Northern Hemisphere.

Final Words from the (Soon to be Former) CMO

7312.us was fun while it lasted. We built something weird, niche, and occasionally useful. But as admin keeps quoting: there is a time to build up and a time to tear down. A time to code and a time to go touch grass (preferably while holding a fishing rod).

Thank you to everyone who visited, argued in the comments, or just showed up to watch the chaos. We’ll keep the lights on for a little while for archival purposes, but the era of admin pretending this was a full-time job is over.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to update my LinkedIn to “Chief Marketing Officer (Retired – Sort Of).”

See you on a mountain trail or at the end of a dock somewhere.

— Ash120
Former CMO, 7312.us
Current Professional Friend & Travel Enabler

P.S. If anyone needs a slightly jaded marketer who can write funny blog posts about existential crises, my rates are now “how good is the wine?”